


Guardian Angel

by ProPinkist



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Angst, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hey look another gloriously creative title from yours truly, Hurt/Comfort, Jiao in the background of this, Just something centered around Elize's inner turmoil throughout the game, Not, about the two men in the Chimeriad related to her, but in the end it turned around to be about her and him AND Jiao..., sorta - Freeform, that I crank up to 9000 because there wasn't enough Elize and Wingul in the game darnit, the focus is still on Wingul though moreso, this was supposed to be mainly about Elize and Wingul, welp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 15:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14718635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProPinkist/pseuds/ProPinkist
Summary: Elize's thoughts throughout her journey about Jiao's contradictory and painful kindness, and most of all, about Wingul's mask of uncaring, his eternal suffering, and everything he possesses that he doesn't realize he has.





	Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

> After it is revealed in the game (and elaborated on in external material) that Wingul was the first human test subject in Elize's lab and that she was aware of him being there, and that he was technically responsible for her and the other kids being brought there at all, I really wished that they had had more meaningful interactions in the game... so I wrote about them and beefed up Elize's "arc" (if you can even call it that...) in the game more. Jiao is the most important person in her past, it's true, but Wingul is important too I think, so cue a shitton of angst. The fact that Wingul canonically got his booster because of being defeated by Jiao in the past and so I headcanon that he would always secretly harbor some bitter/conflicted feelings at him only makes the angst sweeter. By the time I got to the end of this, I'm.... not really sure if it has a point...... hopefully it feels like it does, though. :'D

She first meets Wingul at the king’s side, which is where he always is, and where he always will be.

Milla has come to see Gaius in order to confront him about the booster laboratory and testing, which surprised Elize, though not unpleasantly. But the king himself has little to say about it; rather, his right-hand man, dressed in black and with a stern gaze that pierces straight through her, does instead. He tells them with little emotion in his voice that he was the one who created the lab, and that no harm ever came to the ones there; he says that it was a home for the children, and that they wouldn’t have survived without it.

It leaves Elize speechless. It is true that they never hurt her (and the others, she thinks, but she cannot be completely sure), but how can he act like it was _good_? That it was a paradise for them, something they should have been _grateful_ for?

Besides, she now learns as well that Jiao, who made her live in Hamil afterwards, has known this man all along, so what does that say about him? Already, she had asked herself how Jiao could claim to care for her if he took her to such a lonely and harsh place, but certainly _now_ , how could she possibly understand this, if he knowingly brought her from one lonely, isolated place to another? She had assumed that he knew nothing about her circumstances, was _unable_ to take her away from the laboratory until it shut down… but clearly that isn’t true.

Because Jiao knows, _knew_ all along, that her parents are dead; he knows more about her than she had ever imagined. Why did they die? Was it to get to _her?_ Did all three of them, Isla, Wingul, and Jiao, plan to make her life lonely forever, for the sake of _research_? Just because she wasn’t hurt outside cannot make up for all of the loneliness she felt; she could have been sent to live with a new family in order to survive instead of being made a lab experiment, and the same goes for the other children. Are any of them even alive and safe anymore, as she is?

Wingul calls her “that test subject”, and so does Jiao. Not a person, but a _thing_. She had always been singled out (because of her and Teepo, apparently), and the life she was given wasn’t for charity’s sake, as Wingul had said. Not at all. So then why does Jiao care about her, while letting her suffer? And why does Wingul act like nothing was wrong about it, when it _was_? There had been one young man there who had been kind to them and tried to entertain them, but he still never let them leave and offered them another place to go; why do they all act as if their lives there were nothing to mourn over simply because no one was hurt? It’s all so confusing, and painful, and with Alvin’s betrayal stinging her heart as well, Elize wishes that she could just have _answers_ for once.

She understands nothing, and when Wingul attacks them, his hair turning white and his language turning unintelligible as he becomes wild and frantic and unhinged and _terrifying_ with the power of a _booster_ , she wants to hate him, for _using_ their lives for the sake of such unnecessary power. But all Elize can feel is a strange, numb, incomprehensible sadness.

 

* * *

 

Teepo remembers Wingul for her, because he knows things she doesn’t. Elize doesn’t understand it, if he’s supposed to speak her thoughts, but maybe she has these memories buried deep down where she can no longer reach them, and Teepo is simply bringing them up to the surface for her. Either way, she likes this about him: it makes him feel less like a machine and more like the separate friend she always considered him to be. As long as she has Teepo, he will be able to hold onto the _good_ memories of Hamil and her childhood, forever.

If only she had him when she was still with her parents.

Wingul was at the laboratory with her, and she doesn’t remember his face, but she does remember the person Teepo claims he was: Test Subject #1. How could she _forget?_ Elize has memories of other children she was around, here and there, along with those of the nice adult staff member, but _he_ left the strongest impact. He was an adult, unlike them, and did not live at the laboratory, but rather visited every few months or so; much more often in the earlier years where her mind is fuzzier, and less often as time went on.

He was tall, and pale, and very thin, and whenever she caught a glimpse of him being brought in, he was usually being supported by someone, looking exhausted and weak; the kind staff member was usually with him, she could barely recall. The laboratory was not often very noisy, but his during his visits, his moans and cries of pain were a familiar sound. As far back as she can remember, they were terrible, agonizing screams instead.

He was the first human to have a booster put inside of them, which was why he had many follow-up visits, and the children never could have had the boosters that they did without his tests, she had heard the adults say. She never would have had Teepo without Test Subject #1’s sacrifices.

Jet-black hair and golden eyes. It was Wingul. He appears so much stronger and more confident now; his faltering after the battle in Kanbalar is the only image Elize can connect with the young man she had witnessed and heard in the past.

Thanks to him, she has Teepo. Thanks to him, many others have second-generation boosters that make them stronger in battle. She’s not ignorant; she knows how much good the booster research has to have done for the world. At the very least, it’s not dangerous for them all like spyrix is (at least, not yet).

But still, Elize is rightfully angry.

They _should_ have lived in foster homes, instead of in an isolated, lonely, boring laboratory. The researchers could have found _adults, willing_ to do this for them. They could have _let them have childhoods._

And Wingul could have not let himself suffer so, sacrificing so much. It doesn’t matter that none of the rest of it could have happened without the knowledge they gained from him (and for her and the rest of the children, it definitely shouldn’t have happened). It doesn’t matter how strong he is now because of what he did. It’s pointless, unneeded power and _never_ worth such agony to gain, no matter what.

Elize will never forget his screams. She wouldn’t wish such intense pain on anyone.

 

* * *

 

In Fezebel Marsh, they are forced to fight Presa, Wingul, and Jiao. Despite all that has been lost, all that they have endured, and all the suffering that the Lance has brought, Gaius won’t let them destroy it. He wants it for himself, and his bodyguards uphold his will no matter what; they don’t let them through without a fight.

Elize is terrified. She is terrified of being in a fight against Jiao, who could crush her without even thinking about it, and she is terrified of being against Wingul, who is a blur of rapid fury and can slice anyone to ribbons easily; she is just as terrified as the first time she fought them. She is terrified to fight them, and she is terrified that Jiao _can_ fight _her_ , with everything he seems to feel for her and after everything he has given her, despite everything he has also taken from her, and she is terrified of Wingul’s booster and what it does to him, and terrified to know that this is the person she felt such pity and sorrow for all those years, and all of it is so _confusing_ and _hurts_ and yet in the end she still can only bring herself to attack Presa.

Presa, as it turns out, is the only one of the three to attack her. Jiao and Wingul never touch her.

It’s almost worse.

The battle ends with their victory, and the members of the Chimeriad collapse before them, Wingul making a horrible moaning sound that sends Elize back through time. She steels herself and ignores it as best she can and approaches Jiao instead, asking him why he cares about her, what his reasons are. Teepo echoes her thoughts.

He does not answer her, and it’s enough to make Elize want to scream.

But his attention is directed towards Wingul, who is still making pained sounds, and she turns to the other man and sees Rowen talking to him about something. Vaguely, she can hear Presa and Jude’s voices from far away, and Leia’s from beside her.

Wingul sways unsteadily, pointing to the side of his head and whispering what sounds like _“right here”,_ before falling into a crumpled heap, still as can be except for his cape feathers blowing in the breeze. Jiao lets out a small noise, and manages to get up and move close to his comrade. Elize watches, something catching in her throat, as Jiao lifts Wingul up, holding him close, the other nearly swallowed in his vast embrace, and before she knows it she is running to their side, calling out to Milla to go ahead without her, and that she will catch up.

Their eyes are all on her, she knows, and she hears Jude starting to protest, Leia stopping him. Elize doesn’t even understand her actions herself. All she knows is that she is scared; scared of losing more without knowing them, and without knowing _whys_ , and scared of losing opportunities that she will never be able to get back.

“…Don’t take too long. We need you,” Milla calls.

She silently thanks them, smiling, as she senses them leaving, and drops to Jiao’s side. His voice to her is immediate, betraying only the slightest bit of weakness.

“Child, you should not be concerning yourself with us. You—”

“Is he _alive?!”_

Elize snaps back at him, surprised but proud that she managed to interrupt Jiao, staring into his eyes with a fury she hopes he will take seriously. If he will not answer her questions concerning himself, the least he can do is grant her _this._

“…He is. Somehow.” Jiao sighs, lying Wingul down on the ground once more, and she can’t help but notice how _gentle_ he is with him, and her heart squeezes once more, her anger diminished. “Your cursed luck is as strong as ever, Wingul… Heaven still favors you alive, doesn’t it?”

Something about his wording strikes her, and she turns back to him sharply. “W-What do you mean, cursed luck? Why does he have luck?”

She doesn’t want to tell what she knows, even though he most likely already _knows_ what she knows, and as Jiao turns away, silent for a long while, she is afraid he will ignore her again and simultaneously afraid of his answer.

“……His booster…… causes a great deal of pain and harm to him each time he uses it. But still… still, he fights to live, still hangs on, every time, as he has these seven long years.”

Elize cannot breathe. She hears herself gasp, and hates that she wants to cry. Hadn’t she already expected something like this, knowing who he was? …But he seemed so much more confident and capable and _healthier_ now, so she had assumed – _hoped_ – that it wasn’t as bad as before…

_He seemed so strong… but all this time, he…_

“…I-I… I _knew_ him! Every time he came to the lab, we all s-saw!”

Her hands have reached out, resting atop Wingul’s limp one. She blinks furiously, her mind unwillingly going back to all of those memories of that mysterious man from the past that they had all mourned for whenever he appeared.

“H-He was always in so much _pain!_ He always… a-always was so hurt, and _w-weak…_ almost every time he came, we thought would be his last…! So w-why… _why… **why did he do this to himself?!**_ Why make us live there, why sacrifice so much for nothing but loneliness and pain, _what was the point?!?!”_

“Elize…”

_And you too; WHY DID YOU LET HIM?! Isn’t he your_ friend _? Someone you care about? Just like you claim to care about_ me _? How could you let such terrible things happen to the people you seem to love?!_

She wants to scream that back at him, as she feels his giant hand touch her back gently. But she doesn’t, and she doesn’t understand _why,_ and she hates herself for it. She doesn’t understand anything at all, as she didn’t before, and it _hurts._

“……The laboratory…… the experiments on you all…… they wouldn’t have been possible without Wingul’s help. …But Wingul did not do this so that those could happen. As far as he was concerned, the experiments could have continued on animals.”

“…H-Huh? He d-didn’t… care about the experiments…?”

_So it was just for…_

She stares at Jiao, wide-eyed, realizing what he’s implying.

“…Mostly, he simply wanted strength.” Jiao turns away as he speaks, and she thinks she detects a slight break in his voice, which is _unheard_ of for him. “……For Gaius. As do we all.”

“For… f-for _Gaius_ …?”

Her voice is a weak whisper, as Elize slowly turns back to gaze at the man curled up on the ground, still as silent and unconscious as ever. She continues to stare at him, thinking of all she has seen, all she has heard, all she knows, processing the words.

_So it wasn’t… for the sake of the experiments? Not… because he wanted us there…?_

Perhaps it was partly for the sake of the research. But mostly for himself.

Somehow, it’s even worse than if he had done it mostly for their progress, knowing that orphans being made lab rats happened only because of his own desire for such a costly power, perhaps something he might have even done on a _whim._

“……He went through all of that… let them put a booster in his _head_ … w-went through all of that p-pain and suffering and near _death_ … just to be _stronger…?”_

_That’s it?_ That’s _why…? All of this… for more strength… even though it does_ this _to him?!_

_We were lonely all because he decided he wanted power that’s killing him?!_

“…That’s just who Wingul is, child. He would move heaven and earth for our king. …You should know that by now.”

She can’t understand it. She never _will_ understand it. The rest of them are immensely strong without paying such a terrible price, so why is Wingul any different? Surely he was already strong to reach the position he has, even before and without the booster?

Angry and indignant as she is, fear suddenly and inexplicably overtakes it, and Elize wonders what will happen if Wingul continues to use his booster. Jiao says it has been seven years, but that’s hardly any time for as young as Wingul must be. Someday, will he really……?

“……S-So does that mean that—”

“You must go now, Elize,” Jiao interrupts her, and Elize jerks her head back up, tears burning her eyes. She still has so many questions she wants to ask and points she wants to make; even if Jiao won’t respond to them, she has to _try_ , and once again, she feels afraid of something; afraid that if she doesn’t now, she won’t be able to later.

“What?! B-But—!”

“Wingul will be fine.” He doesn’t sound entirely sure of himself, but his voice is soothing nonetheless. “…I told you, he has lived this long, after all. He is a fighter.” Elize watches him gently run his enormous fingers over Wingul’s bangs, almost in a fatherly way, and she feels her face grow wet as the sight calls forth hazy, blurry, vague memories of a man doing something similar to her long ago, though she cannot remember his face.

“He’s right,” a female voice suddenly calls, and she jumps as she turns and sees Presa limping towards them, having forgotten that she was even there. “He’s too stubborn to die. Always has been. It’ll take a lot more than this to bring him down.”

Presa smirks down at her, hand on hip, in what is probably meant to be a reassuring expression, and it doesn’t help very much, but Elize tries her hardest to believe her. They would know their comrade better than anyone else, she supposes.

“…O-Okay.”

She desperately doesn’t want to leave. A voice is practically begging her not to. But she knows she doesn’t have a choice; her friends need her, after all.

“…Here,” Elize murmurs, awkwardly crouching back down again after having stood up, and casting a healing arte over Wingul before the others can stop her. She knows how foolish it is of her to do so, considering that these people are their enemies, and that she’s only helping them keep them from reaching the Lance. …But if they wanted to stop her, at least, they could have kept her from leaving, but they are telling her to go. That has to count for something.

More likely, she knows that they know they will encounter Gaius up ahead. As long as they think they can be halted by him, they will not pursue them. So healing them won’t hurt, she rationalizes with herself.

“…I hope it helps some.”

Elize should hate them, all of them. But Jiao still took care of her after the laboratory closed and she had nowhere to go, if badly. Wingul still suffered, even worse than they did, and still suffers now, and at the very least, he was not lying about them being unharmed in the lab.

She still wants answers. But for now, she can leave them with this; after all, Wingul isn’t awake for her to talk to.

“Elize…”

“My my, aren’t you a nice girl,” Presa murmurs, though she doesn’t miss the genuine surprise in her eyes. “I see why Jiao was always so fond of you, now. Heh, you’re much more considerate than Al; why not give him some tips on how to be kinder to your enemies, would you?”

Jiao quietly scolds Presa, and Elize grits her teeth, dying to ask _why_ is _Jiao so fond of me?_ But she holds it in, and takes one last look at Wingul’s still form before nearing the path the others had taken off on.

“……I don’t know anything about Alvin, nor do I care about trying to correct him. I’m just doing what I believe is right.”

Presa is still watching her with wide eyes, before she breaks into giggles, trying to hide them behind her hand. Jiao simply stares at her steadily, and finally, he gains a small, sad smile.

Elize huffs, scrubbing her eyes furiously as she rushes off down the path toward where her friends surely await her, brandishing her staff with purpose as she nears monsters. Teepo appears at her side as she does, having been silent the entire earlier exchange, for which she was grateful about, for once.

“Are you sure you wanted to leave like that, Elize? You still had so much to ask!”

She casts a dark arte, throwing her frustration into her attacks and biting back more tears.

“…I’ll ask them the next time we meet properly. For sure.”

 

* * *

 

Jiao is dead.

Exodus attacked, and he protected her from their soldiers. Before he went out and held off the rest so that they all could escape, he apologized to her, and told her that he was the one who killed her parents. She left him in an explosion of flames, with no further explanation besides that. It was the last time she would ever hear from him.

When Wingul appears before their reunited group later, it is all Elize can do to keep from flinging herself at him in a desperate, angry, emotional, heartbroken panic.

Instead, Gaius and what’s left of the Chimeriad talk to Milla about the current situation. The revelation that there’s a separate world outside of their own, and that Milla _created_ their world, as well as the knowledge that Alvin and Exodus are from there, should be as shocking to her as it is to everyone else, but she only is half-listening, and half feeling it, because all she can really think about is _Jiao; why did he save me, why did he kill my parents, why did he save me_ if _he killed them, why does he_ care _about me if he killed them, why does he care about me at all how does he know my parents why did he kill them why did he let himself die when he’s still needed why is everyone so casual when Jiao is **dead** WHY—_

She stumbles outside after the talk and battle planning, and Jude follows her, gently leading her to Presa and Agria, who are the first ones they come across. They both look fine, as did Wingul. They were all fine again, somehow, once they all began fighting against Exodus, back there. Even Jiao, before he wasn’t fine, ever again.

He had been so certain and quick to reassure her that Wingul would be all right. How ironic that _he_ was the one who wouldn’t be.

Jude starts to ask them about Jiao for her, and Agria rants vehemently about how foolish he is, was, for dying for her. She insults him, and spits on him, and rages about Jiao throwing his life away for her when he belonged to _them_ , and Presa only seems to care about correcting her and adding that his sacrifice helped Gaius, too, and saying nothing else. So Agria continues on, loudly, angrily, with the unhinged drunken fury she always seems to have, eventually ending in wishing that they all were dead, as she stalks off, gloating about herself being the only warrior that the Chimeriad needs. Presa, at least, appears vaguely sad as she asks out loud, more to herself, who she should talk and drink with from now on, now that Jiao is gone, as she follows Agria, leaving them alone once more.

All Elize can do is cry silently, unable to speak, in complete shock.

Jiao killed her parents, and is someone she barely knows anything about or understands, and yet she mourns his death unfathomably more than any of his close comrades do. She cannot imagine being so cold. …Then again, she still can’t imagine that he committed the terrible act that he said he did, even though she knows that he let her stay in that laboratory, and didn’t she already want to hate him for leaving her there in the first place?

Maybe he was nice to her because he felt guilty. But why feel guilty if he intended on making her unhappy from the very beginning? If he hated her parents enough to _kill_ them, _why would he want to continue to see her face at all from then on?_

Elize doesn’t know. She never has, and now maybe she never will.

Jude calls out after her as she runs away, having tried to comfort her, but she ignores him, running further and further with no real destination in mind. She runs around the temple, through the snow, her eyes burning, and only stops when she accidentally hits someone.

Who is, as it turns out, who she has always wanted to talk to.

“…W-Wingul…?”

He is leaning against the building with one hand, rubbing his temple with his other, and he lets out a quiet “oof” as she hits him, turning sharply as if to pull out his sword on his unexpected would-be attacker. Her breath catches in her throat as he looks down at her, eyes widening in surprise for a moment as he sees her, and then his expression settling again upon understanding that she isn’t a threat.

“Elize. …Are you upset about Jiao?”

She gasps, having been about to apologize for ramming him, not sure what she wants to say now that she is finally alone with him.

“I… I-I…”

His left eye is narrowed. He’s showing no other sign of pain or discomfort, except that he’s squinting that eye. Elize can’t stop looking at it.

“If you’re mourning his death, then don’t. Jiao died protecting you, and us, because that was his wish. He had no regrets, and crying about it is a disgrace to his honor and dignity.”

She can barely believe what she’s hearing. It feels like a knife going through her heart.

“Wha…? _…_ B-But why did he _want_ to?! Why did he care about me??”

Wingul doesn’t flinch at her outburst, but simply continues to stare at her, tears streaming down her face, as she silently begs for a response.

“…That’s not something I can answer.”

“But… But didn’t he know me from the lab? Didn’t he take me from there; didn’t he tell you how he knew me?!”

“……Even if he had, I wouldn’t tell you. That’s Jiao’s business, and his alone.”

**_“But I can’t ask Jiao anymore...!!!”_ **

She sinks to the ground, sobbing, and Elize hears mumbling above her, but she can’t bring herself to pay attention to it. Jiao is _dead_ , no one seems to care but her, and the only people who could tell her anything can’t, or won’t. She has never felt more lost and in the dark, and even if she thinks that maybe one day she would be able to accept not knowing, at the very least, right here and not now, she refuses to not mourn his death. If his comrades will not cry for him, she will, even if he did kill her parents, because she doesn’t know his reasons, and she doesn’t understand why he let her be alone in the lab and Hamil, but she still knows that he was a kind person, somehow, and that, at least, is worth crying for.

Maybe she is foolish to cry for him, if he took away her happiness with her parents. But she can’t seem to process that reality fully right now. She can’t process any of it fully.

“Ugh, you’re so _loud_ ; stop crying already, it’s aggravating…!”

The voice finally reaches her ears, and Elize looks up, numbly, quieting down. Wingul is rubbing his head again and groaning, his eyes closed in irritation, and she feels as if she’s been struck.

“…Are you… really not sad, at all…? Weren’t you… _friends_ …?”

“…Friends…?” Wingul murmurs, after finally having managed to regain his composure, becoming stoic once more. “Is this how a child sees the world? …It doesn’t matter what we were; what matters is that the loss of him is a great blow to our military strength, and we’ll have to pour more resources into trying to make up for it now. He was someone who not only bested _me_ —” and his voice wavers here slightly, though he quickly rights it “— but even challenged _Gaius_ one-on-one. Losing him is not appreciated. …But even so, it wasn’t something we haven’t always been prepared for; serving the King means being ready to die at a moment’s notice for his sake if necessary. That is our purpose, and Jiao served his purpose, since he died to protect His Highness along with you; all we are able to do is plan for these possibilities accordingly. Now if you’ll _excuse_ me—”

“How can you talk about him as if he was some kind of tool; he was a _person!”_ Elize cries, her tears hot and angry. She wonders if that is how he sees her, as well; she wouldn’t be surprised. “’Served his _purpose’?!_ To die?! But Jiao didn’t want _you_ to die; he was so **_worried_** about you! And I… I…”

The screams echo in her ears as they always do, and she knows how she truly feels, no matter how illogical it might be.

“… _I don’t want you to die either...!”_

“What are you on about; let _go_ of me—!” He snaps at her as Elize jumps up suddenly and grabs onto his waist, trying to shake her off, but she holds on tight, determined to not lose _another_ opportunity and regret it forever.

“Why did you get that booster when it hurts you so much?!” She hears him stop yelling to gasp, and she presses on. “I _know_ you remember me from the lab! You know how we all saw you whenever you came there! That thing _hurt you so badly!!_ It still hurts you now! I-I don’t know how you can possibly stand to keep using it… how you could _want_ it in the first place…! But I do know that –“

“You _don’t understand,_ you could _never_ understand, I **_need this_** _to be strong enough,_ and –“

“But you _don’t;_ you can fight fine without it, I saw you!! And Jiao didn’t need a booster to be strong; none of the rest do!”

_“This isn’t about Jiao! I am WEAK without this!!!”_

“You’re _not_ weak, Wingul, and this _is_ about Jiao!! He was _afraid_ you were _dead_ , and told me how much you—”

_“STOP TALKING ABOUT JIAO AND THINGS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!”_

_“No, I won’t!!! Not until you listen to me and stop—”_

**_“LUN’TI TUN’ GI!!!”_ **

Elize screams as Wingul pushes her back, throwing her to the ground, enraged. She glances back up at him wildly, scared, as Teepo flutters around her anxiously, her half terrified that she’ll see him in his other personality, about to kill her. But although he is glaring down at her with fury in his eyes, he still has his black hair.

His eyes, though, are full of such rage, and contempt, and despair, and it’s enough to make her stop breathing, as she thinks of how his voice had wavered earlier when speaking of Jiao, even as he had insisted they weren’t friends.

Neither of them say anything for a long moment. The only sound is of Wingul’s slight panting.

Finally, he calms and straightens up, looking away. When he speaks, his voice is low.

“……I apologize for losing my composure. But I’ll ask you not to criticize how I choose to live as a servant of King Gaius, young lady. I did what I must, just like Jiao did; just like we _all_ do. That is all. You needn’t worry about me… I’m _much different_ than I was in the past. Jiao always overreacted a great deal.”

Elize wants to disagree; say that no, she doesn’t think he is any better, doesn’t think it was an overreaction, if his recent behavior and after the earlier fight is and was any indication, just like she wants to say that she thinks he truly does miss the man that he seems to not want her to talk about anymore even as he continues to do so himself. Just as she wants him to know how much Jiao truly cared for him and worried about him, how he grew concerned about his weakness, but not the kind of weakness Wingul believes he has.

Wingul is strong, and only weak because of what he does to himself. If only he could see the value in his innate strength, and not try to seek more, when his comrades would accept him without the booster.

He turns and starts to walk off, leaving her there. Before he does, though, he speaks once more.

“………Jiao wanted nothing more than for you to be safe, and happy, with people to take care of you, after the laboratory. You have that now, and he was grateful for it; that is why he was not concerned about dying, and for you. Even if you don’t know why he cared about you, you should at least respect and understand that he was glad about that.”

There is a pause.

“………As am I.”

 

* * *

 

The next time she sees Wingul, it is after Milla has died, and Alvin has fled from them. Elize doesn’t know why she is so desperate to cling to him, who chooses to cut all ties with his past with her and Jiao and refuses to listen to her pleas, but even so, she feels a longing for him, a _need_ for him. Perhaps she simply doesn’t want to lose anyone else… especially not when it would have made Jiao sad.

Wingul looks tired, and glances at her with a tinge of pity in his expression, only reminding her that Jiao desired solely for her happiness, and that achieving that will put him at peace. When she asks him again, not truly knowing why she does, why he might have wanted to die for her, he tells her that sometimes people decide that the only way for them to atone for their actions in life is to die.

The words shake her, as Wingul follows his king’s plan without hesitation.

When he tries to have them captured at the risk of them stopping Gaius, Elize isn’t surprised, even if upset.

Much, much later, after Agria and Presa are gone, Alvin and miraculously Milla are back, and they’ve traveled to another _world_ and learned so many new things about it, and she’s experienced so many emotions in such a short amount of time, Elize finally realizes that the memories of the bearded man she had kept thinking about all this time were not of her father, but of Jiao. They find where her old house used to be, and she remembers that her parents planted the Princessias there for her, but Elize cannot recall anything about her mother and father themselves, and neither can Teepo voice anything. _Jiao_ was the one she had such fond, hazy, barely-there memories of… memories of him carrying her on his shoulders, and playing with her, and telling her long ago that her parents were gone, as he wept and apologized for it over and over and over again, for reasons that she did not understand… reasons that even now she can only understand as being the fact that her parents were, are, dead.

Jiao has replaced her memory of her father. And Wingul is what stands out the most, painfully, in her memories of the laboratory. Both of them are tied so intrinsically to her past… they are the only people she has left who could tell her anything about it.

And now, only Wingul. The only past family she has anymore… and the only family Gaius has left as well.

She desperately wishes that Gaius would ensure his life, as the person he obeys above everyone else, if she herself cannot.

 

* * *

 

Of course, the time finally comes where they confront each other one last time.

Paralyzed with fear and despair and utter _hopelessness_ when Wingul gives them no choice but to fight him, because of Gaius’ and their conflicting ideals, him using his booster once more, she wishes with all of her heart that they could just talk everything out instead and _not have to kill each other_ (hadn’t he said that Jiao only wished for her _happiness_? Doesn’t he realize that what he’s doing to her will make her, and Jiao’s spirit, _anything_ but happy?) _._

“I _refuse_ to die, Wingul; I refuse to let you kill any of us!” Elize cries indignantly in response to his declaration of battle, insulted and angry no matter how much she may pity him. She knows that they never knew as much as they should have, could not _comprehend_ Elympios’ – Alvin’s – plight until very recently, but now they have seen, and learned, and they understand – she understands much more than she ever has about the universe, even if she still doesn’t, and possibly never will, fully know the truth of her origins. There has to be another way; she will not let he and Gaius discard an entire world’s population for the sake of their own, not people who are so helpless and in need of them.

Elize knows what it is like to be alone, and wanting help. She will not let him cause this again.

And she certainly won’t let him kill her.

“I know I mean more to you than that! We can figure something out, we don’t have to fight; _this isn’t what Jiao would want!”_

_(he doesn’t, didn’t, want me to get hurt, and for you to hurt yourself!)_

Wingul looks almost conflicted for a moment as soon as she begins to talk, his brow furrowed, but as soon as she mentions Jiao, his expression turns into a snarl and he activates his booster without another moment’s hesitation, lunging at them with purpose and anger.

She fights back with the others. He won’t listen to them, and the thought of hurting him is agony, but Elize will never refuse to defend herself and her friends back. They may have opposing beliefs, but it would be wrong not to put her all into fighting him; it’s similar to how he had said that crying for Jiao was dishonoring his resolve and decision to die for her, wasn’t it?

Thinking like that doesn’t sit well with her, but Elize understands that there is no talking him down, and if he’s going to put his all into this, she will show him how serious she is, as well.

After the battle is over, however, it is almost more than she can bear when Wingul collapses to one knee, bloodied and beaten and struggling to hold himself up with his sword, as he continues to insist that they are in the right and in disbelief at Rowen’s confidence, insulting him (he has always criticized Rowen for suddenly achieving so much late in life after so much failure in his past, but now it finally occurs to Elize to wonder if it is because he feels as if he himself has not achieved enough in his short life despite his higher position; after all, she knows how weak he sees himself, frustratingly so), and she cries, screams, _begs_ for him to stop as Wingul tries to raise himself, trying to continue to fight and believing that he can still stop them even when he so clearly has no strength left. Her pleas are drowned out by Leia uttering similar sentiments, and Rowen tries to calmly talk him down by letting him know how important his life is to Gaius – and it truly is, now that the rest of the Chemeriad is gone – but Wingul ignores him and silences him, activating his booster a second time.

There is a horrible booming sound, a sound that Elize knows what it is the moment she hears it, even before Wingul begins to react to it. Everything that follows seems to happen in slow motion, even though it’s only a few moments.

Wingul lashes out at Rowen trying to help him and causes the ground they stand on to destabilize and start to fall. Elize rushes forward towards him before Jude can stop her, leaping onto the platform with Wingul, Teepo following. The others fall away below them, the air filled with their screams, her screams, and loudest of all, Wingul’s own.

_“Wingul no…!_ H-Hang on!” Elize pleads, grabbing him around the waist. Wind rushes around the man, as does sparks of lightning, and it’s nearly impossible to stay near as Wingul moves about frantically in a panic, but she holds tight, refusing to let go, just like she had that day near Kanbalar with him. His moans of pain are so agonized that they nearly sound like crying, and it sends her mind back to those terrible days of the most distant past that she never wanted to recall again, as tears form in her eyes.

It is forever and yet not long at all before the wind stops, and Wingul is unable to stand any longer and he falls, falls and falls, and Elize feels her heart fall to her stomach.

**_“NO!”_ **

On the ground, his hair has returned to its normal color, and his body is still seizing violently, as he gasps and slurs a mix of Long Dau and continued whimpers and cries of pain. Elize uses a healing arte as Teepo hovers sadly beside her, knowing it to be futile, and quickly abandons it to hold him once more, her face streaked with tears as she imagines Wingul dying here, his body maybe unable to ever be recovered in this labyrinthine dimension between worlds, just like Jiao, Agria, and Presa’s bodies never will be found.

“Aiba waiolud…… tiaus… nnnngh… kūlul tun’……… Arst… hidigūnun’ tun’…… ughhh… Jiao _b_ _ā_ _ya_?!?! NILS, _B_ _Ā_ _N’DIN’ EDIN’ YAIO?! OMUWALUN’ AIBA WAIOLUD YAIO BUN’ SOW_ _Ā_ _F_ _Ī_ _LUS…_ gyaaahhUGHHH **_NILS_** _… **ARST –**!”_

“I can’t understand what you’re _saying_!” Elize wails, weeping, _sobbing_ as she clings to him, trying to do anything, _anything,_ to soothe his pain. Wingul’s eyes are glazed over and unfocused, his body still trembling and shaking, and his face is turning grey. It’s one of the most terrifying experiences she has ever had. “Why d-didn’t you _listen_ to Rowen, to _me?!_ To **_Jiao_**?! Don’t you understand how precious your l-life is?! How important it is to keep it… w-when so many others can’t…?” Her voice breaks, high-pitched with emotion. “I-I don’t _care_ about what happened anymore – I will never forget it, but right now I’m _here!_ I’m right here, Wingul, Elize Lutus, no matter what happened… w-what we all suffered… in the past!! I’m **_alive_**! I’m alive, and Rowen is alive, a-and _Gaius_ is alive, and he’s _waiting_ for you to r-return to him, a-and b-be by his… by his side!!! And so is Rowen!

“A-And… and so am _I… because I can’t lose you too!!!”_

So stubborn, even if it kills him. Always had been stubborn; always forced his body through the examinations, and experiments, and pain, ever since he had been a young man that to her had been thin and sickly enough to look like an older child instead. From the very beginning, he started their years of loneliness, and in the end, as far as she knows, is the one who suffered, suffers, most of all from that laboratory.

Elize remembers a time when she had interacted with him back then, barely; when they had happened to be in the same place together while he was waiting to be looked over, and she had offered him some of what she had been eating and had managed to wish him well, earning her a tired and somewhat amused, but grateful, small smile from him.

If this is what Wingul considers a punishment, she refuses to accept it. He should _live_ instead, with everything he still has to _do_ in his life that Jiao always hoped he would… that he will never get to see.

…That neither of them will see.

“…Jiao… E-Elize.”

He is staring at her, his eyes clearer but half-lidded. She chokes out a sob, heartbroken and frustrated, holding his cold hands.

_“Please_ , Wingul, d-don’t give up… p-please…”

“…Pedin’mutis…… y-your… parents……… Jiao… try… t-tidiya… tried…… save… p-protect them.”

And then suddenly she can’t breathe, her heart pounding, shaking, _shattering_ , her thoughts racing a mile a minute as she processes his words, scarcely able to believe them.

_“……W-What?!”_

“Ah… Jiao… sun’n’, U baes mun’nun’di sutidīmug n’mioga efutin’di elul… my a-apologies for Arst.” Wingul stops talking to curl in on himself further, gasping and panting and crying in agony even more, clutching his head as his breath comes quickly and weakly, and as much as Elize wants him to live, now she simply almost prays that his suffering would end already, with how much his pain breaks her heart to watch just as much as it hurts him. No one deserves to be tortured this way, and the fact that it sounds as if he feels like he has failed Jiao only makes her cry harder.

“You… Y-You are strong, Wingul, a-and you _always_ were. Jiao… J-Jiao would be proud of you.”

If he was still here, maybe he would have told Gaius what they could not, and none of this would have happened. She will never know if he would have agreed with his king about destroying Elympios or not. But that doesn’t matter with what the dying man needs to hear, about the person that he always seemed to feel inferior to and yet also has missed a great deal ever since his death, she knows.

Perhaps Jiao would be glad that Wingul could finally rest, free from his pain and great responsibility he burdened himself with. After finally understanding what she does about Alvin, she knows how much Wingul needs it.

She just wishes it didn’t have to be like this.

“……..El…ize…”

His fingers are gently touching her face, catching her tears, though his hand shakes, and it’s obvious he isn’t truly aware of what he’s doing. Wingul smiles softly, his eyes gentle, and if it wasn’t because of how delusional he is, it would make her feel happy.

“…guled yaio… sefun’… Nils… be g-glad to know…. you safe…… like… tian’ din’suti… r-rest…… Jiao… I…… a-are… guled tīi……………

“llbert… Imuluya Gaius…. waem tidioluya… lun'ed tiaus baidilud……… Yaio saiolud kumiba…… b-buya ……miba……”

As he speaks, his voice soft and weak, Elize holds his hand. She continues holding it once Wingul’s words run out in a breathless whisper, and she can no longer feel him moving, his eyes closed and his lips still holding a barely-noticeable smile.

For a long time after, Elize lays her head in the soft fur collar of the Ebon Wing of Auj Oule, and cries.

 

* * *

 

Gaius later tells her that Jiao had spoken of living with her family and being unable to protect her parents from being killed, feeling as if he owed her a debt because of it, and about how Wingul’s late aide and friend had ensured that the children in the laboratory were always given as much freedom and kindness as possible (she realizes that he must have been the one researcher who was always so gentle with them), and that Wingul had made sure that all of them were safe and secure in orphanages and homes once the facility was closed down.

Wingul’s booster brought him pain and them concern, he says softly, with as much sadness as the king will ever allow himself to show, but certainly no one else could have wielded it as strongly and for as long as he did. He adds that he wouldn’t have allowed himself to continue to be pulled away from his duties and be examined in the laboratory for his own sake, if it weren’t for seeing Nils, and seeing how the children were.

Elize visits the graves sometimes, often with Gaius. Nothing can fill the holes their deaths leave, but his stories of them, of the family they had had together with him in the Chemeriad, and what little he had told her of their pasts relating to her, are enough to make her heart heal enough in knowing that they will never be forgotten by any of them. She wishes she could talk to them once more and say so much more, differently, after everything she learns, but knowing how they truly felt will have to be enough.

Eventually, using Rowen’s dictionary, she begins to teach herself Long Dau.

**Author's Note:**

> Long Dau translations:  
> LUN’TI TUN’ GI = "LET ME GO!"  
> Aiba waiolud…… tiaus… kūlul tun' = "how could this kill me"  
> Arst… hidigūnun’ tun’ = "Arst, forgive me" (said in the game)  
> bāya = "why?!?!"  
> BĀN’DIN’ EDIN’ YAIO = "WHERE ARE YOU?!"  
> OMUWALUN’ AIBA WAIOLUD YAIO BUN’ SOWĀ FĪLUS = "UNCLES HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH FOOLS"  
> sun’n’, U baes mun’nun’di sutidīmug n’mioga efutin’di elul = "see, I was never strong enough after all"  
> guled tīi = "glad too"  
> llbert… Imuluya Gaius waem tidioluya lun'ed tiaus baidilud... Yaio saiolud kumiba buya miba = "Ilbert, only Gaius can truly lead this world. You should know by now." (said in the game)  
> The rest are repetitions of English words.


End file.
